so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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