Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize