the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
