I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
