I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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