I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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