i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
