She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
