Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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