It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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