Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
