wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize