I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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