my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
