can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
