Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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