Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
