I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
