How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize