how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
