i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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