shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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