we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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