yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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