How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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