Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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