there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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