I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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