Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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