Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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