I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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