That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
