Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
