what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
