i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
