We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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