Plan B is the new Plan A
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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