Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
