Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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