Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
