Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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