I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
