I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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