When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I will pee on everything he values.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize