OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
