I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
