her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
