I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
