would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
