you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize