I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
