im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
