The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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