Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
