how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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