do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
