hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
