Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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