She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
