he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
