my soul wont recognize me after tonight
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
