so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
