I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
