I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
