So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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