I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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