we're blogging at a bar
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
